Homecoming means many things to many people, both here on campus and out in the community. However, I see it as a time to take a step back and reflect on my semester so far.
Lately, I’ve been having doubts about a lot of things in life, mainly finishing college. In fact there were several times in the last couple months that I considered dropping out. I was struggling with balancing classes and work; my personal life seemed to suck all my free time out of the day. Dropping out seemed like the only way to keep my sanity. But one day last week, I was sitting in English 301 with Dr. Ply and I had an epiphany like you read about in paperback novels; or, in this case, volume one of the Norton Anthology of British Literature.
While reading the novella “The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abyssinia” by Samuel Johnson, I was reminded that life really sucks sometimes, but it is these times that define who we are as a person. If you get bored with philosophical mumbo jumbo that says happiness and fulfillment are within arms reach, I’m right there with you; but sometimes reassurance can help get you back on track. Like Rasselas, we all eventually get bored with life and we look to find something better, but what we find may not be what we imagined. We leave our families and homes, but many of us find out that life in the real world isn’t as easy for us as it is for some. Many of us will repeat the mistake of Rasselas and his sister, Nakayah, which is to totally discount the experience they gained and the opportunities they have before them and return to the safety of home. This is an easy choice to make, but its consequences are extreme. By the way, if you want to read the story, I’m sure you can find it online. Its plot and characters are incredibly simple, but in any case it’s a good read.
I realize that not everyone wants to be a lawyer, doctor or scientist; some students want to work for a living. Yes, working right out of high school will have you earning money right now and will dramatically simplify your life; but because you don’t have a degree, you will be walking a narrow path until you choose to take the longer, broader road.
Admittedly, there is the occasional genius that comes along and changes the world without an hour of college under his belt, but unless you have a world changing and possible idea that can be executed with very limited resources you are not that genius. Also, degree aside, being here opens the door for so many wonderful things in life. For instance, I probably never would have made it out to New York City on my own, so thank you, Office of Student Publications.
I know that I was not alone in my desire to step away from everything and just leave the world, responsibilities and my grades to be what they will. It’s very probable that many of us feel or felt this way. I always point out in these pontificating editorials that the choice is yours, as it always has been. Do yourself a favor and make the right one.
That being said, if you find yourself dissatisfied with school, get a tutor. The Center for Student Excellence has loads of tutors standing by and their services are free. Also, talk to your advisor and see what they think; they know what they are doing, and while some of them drag their feet (not mine, but I’ve heard stories) maybe just talking with someone about your problems is enough for you to fix them all on your own. If you’re bordering on psychosis from all of your problems talk to a psychologist, which we also have on campus for free.
Life really does suck sometimes, and at my age it’s easy to get disillusioned and distracted, especially if you have ADHD. I like to go out, I like to read and write stories for the hell of it and I like to play video games. I need to work, I need to study and I need to make sure that I graduate on time. It’s easy to become unfocused and let what you like overpower what you need, but that just makes things a lot worse for you. At the same time, we see the successes of others and we are reminded of our own inadequacies and consequently become bitter, digging our hole just a little bit deeper. But instead of digging, use the overachievers as an example, throw away the shovel and say, “What the hell am I doing? I don’t want to be in this hole” and then climb out.
If you’re like me, hang in there. If your life is perfect, don’t expect it to stay that way, but hold onto it and never let it go.