Students who are fist and foremost parents gathered to participate in an open forum hosted by the Southeastern Sociology Association (SSA) to share their experiences and ideas for managing their busy double lives.
The forum was held from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. in the Magnolia Room in the Student Union last Wednesday with the purpose of reaching out to the student parents on campus. The forum was a personal and accepting environment designed to provide a way for students to connect with other students who are faced with similar struggles.
“It’s like I’m living in the eye of a hurricane all the time,” said sophomore Vicki Roberts, majoring in sociology. “Probably the biggest sacrifice is the time I have to spend away from my kids while they’re still really little and not in school. I hate making school and homework more important than them in the moment.”
Roberts is the mother of a two-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter and is currently taking twelve credit hours. She is succeeding with a 3.6 GPA while commuting from Baton Rouge and taking care of her kids, whom she credits with keeping her motivated to complete her schooling.
“The kids really keep me motivated to go to school because I know I have to support them,” said Roberts. “I don’t think I’d really be that interested in college and trying to get a better education if I hadn’t had them.”
Very few students attended the conference, a fact that SSA advisor and sociology instructor Rebecca Hensley believes exemplifies the challenges of a student parent.
“What could be a more perfect example of the difficulties we’re discussing?” asked Hensley. “Student parents can’t even attend a heavily advertised campus event to talk about how hard it is to be a student parent.”
The forum addressed a few of the numerous struggles facing student parents such as financial difficulties, stress and exhaustion and the challenge of keeping up with their studies.
Some positive results were also discussed.
“They [kids] really teach you a lot of patience and how to juggle life,” said Roberts. “I can handle just about anything.”
SSA has been focusing on student parent issues this semester and is currently in the process of attempting to install an on-campus daycare.
“It would change everything for student parents if there was a daycare on campus,” said Hensley. “Kids would feel like they’re not the problem.”
According to Hensley they are fact-finding and trying to get input from different student parents regarding the on-campus daycare.
During the forum Hensley discussed the challenges and struggles of her personal journey to getting a degree as a single mother.
“I was exhausted 24 hours a day and was not able to be there when my kids needed me or able to attend any of my son’s ballgames,” said Hensley. “I didn’t have the support that I needed, but if it hadn’t been for them I wouldn’t have finished school. I didn’t have the option to quit.”
Roberts shared her experience with the common dilemma of having to be away from her kids while trying to get a degree to help her find a better job so that she can adequately provide for her family.
“I feel really guilty being here [Southeastern] a lot of times,” said Roberts. “I feel really torn between two worlds, knowing I have to work hard on my classes and then go home and let the kids know that they’re not a problem and get their basic needs met.”
Hensley also addressed the need for our country to be more community and family based and to show more respect for the student parents around us.
“We say we’re big family people in this society and that we’re all about family values, but we don’t demonstrate that where the rubber meets the road,” said Hensley. “People talk about having the baby when they get pregnant, but they don’t line outside your door to offer to babysit when you have things you need to do.”
Some of the SSA group members have committed to babysitting for other group members who have kids on various weekends.
For more information regarding SSA and how you can make a difference, contact Hensley at Rebecca.Hensley@selu.edu.