“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is one of the greatest lies your grammar school teacher ever fed you. Words hurt just as much as, and sometimes even more, than physical blows. Just like a kind word or compliment can brighten your day, a nasty remark can have a negative effect of equal magnitude.
Duke University’s, “You Don’t Say,” campaign understands the power of words perfectly. The campaign is waging war against offensive phrases and terms, such as the usage of “no homo,” “don’t be a pussy” and the use of the term “gay” as a synonym for “stupid.” Their goal is to put an end to verbal phrases that are derogatory toward marginalized groups such as homosexuals. The campaign is similar to the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign that is trying to discourage people from using the term “retarded” as an insult.
Of course, some have taken offense at the idea that a group would want our daily speech to be rid of such hurtful jargon. Fox News’ Glenn Beck, Dr. Mark Hendrickson of Grove City College and many folks on social media sites such as Facebook think this campaign is impeding their freedom of speech and look down upon them as thinking individuals.
Hendrickson commented on the campaign’s dislike of the term “man up.”
“I’m a little concerned about censoring a phrase like ‘man up’… a world without manliness, like a world without femininity… would be a pretty dismal place,” said Brown.
With all respect to Hendrickson, he seems to be missing the point by miles. While I find “man up” to be one of the less offensive phrases targeted by the campaign, it’s easy to see how it can be problematic in some circles. Masculinity is not in danger of being looked down upon by society. People have admired masculine traits since the dawn of time, and outside of a radical few, no one in the larger culture demonizes masculinity.
However, how many times has the term “girly” been used as an insult? Femininity is what’s being devalued and scoffed at by society, not “manliness.”
Honestly, I’m disheartened by the words of these detractors. They act like they’re the ones being hurt and oppressed by being advised not to use this kind of language. I went on several sites that discussed the “You Don’t Say” campaign, calling the campaign’s creators everything from “busy bodies” to “word police.”
As a writer, I totally understand being wary of censorship and suppression of free speech, but this campaign’s goal isn’t to censor or legally impede people from sharing ideas. Last I checked, they weren’t burning books with these words in them nor were they physically or verbally attacking people who used them in their daily speech. This campaign’s aim is not to patronize you or force you to do anything; it’s ultimately about awareness. It’s trying to show how these words hurt people, regardless of whether or not the speaker intends for the words to hurt.
In spite of what Hendrickson and Beck want you to think, I don’t see this as being about politics or anyone’s Constitutional rights. Whether or not you choose to use these terms is ultimately up to you, and nothing I nor the “You Don’t Say” campaign does can ever prevent you from doing so. In the end, it’s about basic human decency and realizing words can wound just as much as “sticks and stones.”