When you look at most faculty members, “rocker” is probably not the first thing that comes to mind. However, five professors have broken that mold by forming a rock band, going by the name of “Impaired Faculties.”
The band consists of Bill Robison, head of the Department of History and Political Science, and Joe Burns, communication professor and founder of the popular KSLU radio show “Rock School,” on guitar and vocals; Ralph Wood, a professor of health education and promotion, as the drummer; Randy Settoon, professor of management, on bass and vocals; and Dan McCarthy, dean of the College of Science and Technology, on keyboard and vocals. All members have previously played in a band before live audiences.
Impaired Faculties will be performing in a benefit concert with proceeds going towards the Columbia Theatre and Fanfare on March 13 at 7 p.m. Tickets will cost $15 for loge seats, $12 for orchestra and balcony seats and $5 for orchestra and balcony seats for students with a university ID. The band will be playing cover songs, though they have been adjusted to suit the members’ unique talents and the band’s personality.
“There is one song with original lyrics, and obviously that will be a surprise,” said McCarthy in a KSLU interview. “Special lyrics sort of, kind of tailor made toward the Impaired Faculties theme. Just a little teaser, it will be out there and it will be memorable.”
Impaired Faculties is planning on performing original songs in the future. Scratch tracks of one of their originals, “Bad Attitude,” can already be found on the band’s Facebook page.
The band was born out of a desire by its members to return to the music scene. Impaired Faculties has been practicing together since last summer, and the band continues to practice together every Monday.
The name “Impaired Faculties” was decided on over Facebook, with the members suggesting over 20 different names. Many of the ones they originally wanted were either too long or had already been taken. Robison suggested the name “Impaired Faculties,” and that was the one that stuck.
“The ‘faculties’ part of the name is pretty obvious,” Robison explained in a press release. “Impaired refers to what the budget has done to us in the last six years, which is also the reason why a benefit concert is necessary in the first place. ‘Impaired Faculties’ might also be a joke about our age, but it is not a reference to substance abuse, unless you count caffeine.”
The band thinks many of the people who attend their concert at Columbia Theatre will come in with low expectations, but will be surprised and impressed by what they hear.
“It’s going to be better than what people think. I know a lot of people, especially my students, are going in with the thought process, I mean ‘Can the old guys really do it,?'” said Burns in a KSLU interview. “I’m telling you, a lot of people are going in thinking it’s a joke; they’re going to come in thinking this is going to be some kind of a comedy spectacle gig. They’re going to be knocked over. This is going to be a rock concert and they’re going to be very quickly waiting for the jokes to occur. It’s going to be allayed completely. This is going to be a rock concert, front to back.”
If you would like to attend the Impaired Faculties concert, tickets can be purchased by phone at 985-543-4371, online at www.columbiatheatre.org or at the Columbia Theatre box office from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Monday through Friday.