Celebrating singleness


With Valentine’s Day creeping right around the corner like a sugary reminder of my loneliness, it seems there’s no better time to cry myself to sleep because I’ll be spending it alone for the 19th year of my life in a row. Or, I can celebrate the facts I don’t have to worry about: Being strangled in my sleep by the person I love, being stabbed to death by the person I love, or being poisoned by the person I love.

Not to be crass or pessimistic, but I have watched enough gruesome episodes of “Snapped” and seen enough news articles proclaiming “Man Kills Wife” to appreciate the fact that I’m single. I like to think I am beating the hard-to-crack system of deadly romance.

So, when Feb. 14 rolls around, I make it a ‘me’ day, complete with vintage vanilla smelling candles, a warm bubble bath, a playlist of my favorite songs and a strict ‘no text back’ rule when it comes to people who text my phone. It becomes a day of peace, relaxation and no distractions.

I know having someone to spend this day with can be enjoyable. Having someone you love surprise you with a big teddy bear that says “I love you,” a bouquet of roses and a romantic candlelit dinner can make you feel like the most precious person in the world. But, who says you can’t make yourself feel special? A boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t a necessity on Valentine’s Day. After all, love can come from anyone. Even if that person is yourself.

Just to be clear, I am not bashing Valentine’s Day. I honestly think it’s a sweet holiday filled with chocolate hearts and great expectations. But what about those of us without a Romeo or Juliet to go broke trying to prove our love to? What about those of us who have to spend Valentine’s Day alone as we see post after post of v-day relationship goals?

I say if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to shower you with love, then you just have to do it yourself. As incredibly lonely as that sounds, it can actually be quite liberating to spend some quality time with yourself, away from the noise and uncertainties. It gives you a chance to nurture yourself and remind yourself that you are always loved. Trust me, I am pretty experienced on this topic.

For as long as I can remember, the way I have celebrated Valentine’s Day is by having my own spa day with a heavy dose of self-love. After polishing my nails and toes, giving myself a cleansing face scrub and deep conditioning my hair, I cook myself a delicious dinner and throw on a nice action packed movie, anything but romance. After the movie is over, I might even have a one-woman karaoke session to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” Call it a “celebration of my singleness” if you will.

Regardless of what you call it, Valentine’s Day becomes the highlight of my week after my self-inflicted spa day. With all the deadlines, due dates and exams, sometimes some tranquility and self-pampering is the best concoction. And with all the college expenses, sometimes anything free is the best option.

The best part is when the next day rolls around, I feel refreshed and ready to undergo any challenge. It’s literally like I am walking on air.

If you are alone on Valentine’s day, you can make it a celebration of the fact that you are free from the possibility of death by the person you are in love with.

So many people are bitter about spending Valentine’s Day alone, and while I am sure that having a significant other on this holiday is special, it can be just as special if you are by yourself.

Valentine’s Day is a holiday about love. It doesn’t matter if that love is coming from a significant other, the dog you have had for five years or from within. Love is love – despite who’s giving it.