Valentine’s Day is generally a holiday that is both loved and hated by people, depending on the state of one’s love life. However, the history of the holiday itself denotes more than just poems and chocolate. It’s actually pretty gruesome. Learning about it changed my perspective on this so-called “singles-awareness day.” I found it to be much different than American tradition denotes.
The history of Valentine’s Day is uncertain. Traditionally, it goes back to ancient Rome and a man who was eventually entitled Saint Valentine by the Catholic Church. Valentine is said to have been a priest in Rome during the third century when Emperor Claudius II ruled. Claudius, surrounded on all sides by enemies, needed to make his army stronger, and he deemed that single, unmarried men were better soldiers than married men with families. So, he outlawed marriage for young men who were his potential soldiers. Both Protestant and Christian legends agree that Valentine defied the emperor and performed marriage ceremonies in secret for young lovers. When he was discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Overall, it’s clear that Valentine’s Day is surrounded by romance, but it is also a general theme of love and not necessarily romantic love. I think that originally, that’s not what the holiday was about. I think it was about appreciating the love in your life, whatever form it may take. Valentine himself is not famous for his relationships with lovers, but rather his relationships with friends and his love for love itself.
Some other legends suggest that Valentine was killed attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were frequently abused or tortured. Other legends also talk about Valentine falling in love or becoming very close friends with his jailor’s daughter, who was blind. The Catholic version of the story says that he healed her, while the Protestant disagrees. At any rate, both legends state that he sent the girl a letter before his execution and signed it, “From your Valentine.” This phrase is what eventually became the famous one we still use today.
So yes, Valentine was very possibly wrapped up in love himself, but that’s still not what he’s famous for. He is famous for promoting love in general in the world. He’s famous for disobeying a tyrant and advocating how precious love is.
As for the specific date of Valentine’s Day, some believe it was put on Feb. 14 in order for the Catholic Church to Christianize the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. In ancient Rome, February was the beginning of spring. Lupercalia was dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture. Late in the day, young women would place their names in a large urn, and the city’s bachelors would draw these names. The couples were paired together for a year, and these matches often ended in marriages. To further reasons why Valentine’s day is on Feb. 14, it was commonly believed in the middle ages, in France and England, that the fourteenth was the beginning of birds’ mating season. These beliefs and practices eventually added together.
The first recorded Valentine card was a poem written by Charles, the Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the tower of London after the Battle of Agincourt in 1415. It is now on display at the British Museum.
Thankfully, today, most of us don’t have to send our valentines from behind the locked door of a tower, but that doesn’t make the thing itself any less important. Love is a precious gift that a lot of us take for granted. Especially in college, we are pulled to and fro by what we think we want, whether it be love or not, and we go through a learning process with a lot of relationships. Eventually, many of us find a person who treats us well and loves us back, but not just physically. These people also care on a level deeper than romance. If you have found that, I’d like to say congratulations and you’re very lucky. I’d also like to encourage you to hold onto that if it’s real, because you have found someone that cares deeply for you for who you are. I can definitely appreciate this holiday because it’s a reminder to us to express that love that we feel for one another.
Still, we don’t express love often enough. We get wrapped up in controversy, petty feelings and whims that really don’t matter in the end. This happens not only with couples, but also with friends, family, and acquaintances. Yes, even co-workers deserve that common courtesy and care that comes from you all just being humans, and understanding each other because of that.
We understand that we, as humans, all need love in one form or another, and we feel unfulfilled until we receive it. So this Valentine’s Day, I say don’t just settle with chocolates and flowers for your sweetheart, with maybe a nice dinner. Show more common courtesy. Do something nice for someone that will brighten their day.
Listen to someone who needs listening to or extend genuine care to someone you haven’t before. Love is a large part of what makes us human, and we should celebrate it. St. Valentine had enormous empathy for the sufferers of his day, and I think that’s what made him a legend, rather than his romantic life.