Another Valentine’s Day/Black Heart Day has come and gone. Single or taken on the day, one thing that I am sure many people have dealt with is a break up. And, for reasons beyond my understanding, after Christmas and Valentine’s Day seem to be the “hot” dates to break up with your significant other. 

If you have been in any relationship, no matter how short or long it was, you know breaking up sucks. Doesn’t matter if you were dumped or were the person doing the dumping. Even if it was a short relationship, you came into the life of another person which has changed you as you did to them. It may have been for the better, hopefully it wasn’t for the worse, and if it was, find that something in your life that will make you a better person and happy with being alive. 

With an extremely limited amount of space for words, I will try to give some advice or thoughts on moving on in life after a breakup even though the future may seem bleak. And, the first advice I will give is that if you are a college student and reading this, I know from personal experience it will be nearly impossible to get out of that bed in the morning, especially if it is a recent break up. But don’t stay in that bed. Get up, move around, force yourself to do your assignments and afterwards be proud of your accomplishment of getting out of bed. Don’t let a break up force you to fall behind in school and cause detrimental repercussions in your future. 

Also, try to find someone to hang out with. Maybe watch a movie with a friend that you didn’t talk to as much as you should have when you were in a relationship. Make sure you do something active, force yourself if need be. Being active will help get your mind onto other thoughts outside of “what if I did this,” “maybe if I had done that,” “been a better person or what would have happened had I…” Let your activity get you above the what ifs, should haves, et cetera.

My next advice is to tell you that it is not the end of the world. No matter how hard it seems, no matter how much you may retreat into that tub of ice cream, batch of homemade cookies, bottle of wine if you are of age, Netflix binge the entire series of “Doctor Who” the day it is put up or a combination of the aforementioned as I did after my last break up, life will go on.  

I have barely touched the surface on what you could do, but I’ll leave you with a paraphrasing final thought a wise friend once told me that has helped me move on in the same week. I dealt with my last break up, had my car break down with needing alternator repairs and witnessing a horrible hit and run. When you go in your room at night and turn the lights off, the ghost of every person that has dealt with a horrible break up and has experienced the same thing you are going through will be there to comfort you if you need it. Remember they made it through and their ghost from which they recovered from are there to help you move on as well. Just as my friend’s ghost was there to help me move on, one day you will move on and leave a ghost of a broken relationship behind. And now, my ghost of moving on from a breakup along with many others are there to help in spirit. And in the words of Cristina Yang from “Grey’s Anatomy,” “It’ll hurt. Every time you think of her. But over time, it will hurt less and less. And eventually you’ll remember her and it will only hurt a little.”

For every person dealing with a break up, the pain and hurt will go away and you will have the chance to try and love again. And if you have a beautiful soul and are pure of heart, then the universe will send the right person in your life in perfect timing for the both of you. When two souls are meant to be together, they will find a way to end up together. Time and distance don’t have anything on fate, just be patient as I have learned that I have to do. And in that time you are single, enjoy it and live life to the fullest.