October is considered Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Domestic violence consists of violent or aggressive behavior within the home and could include verbal and/or physical abuse. It’s also something that isn’t easy to spot at first. Someone who is in the situation of being abused might not speak up, or they could be able to hide it very well. 

According to Domestic Violence Statistics, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women, more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.

One in three women and one in seven men report living with intimate violence. These reports are just the ones that have been reported. Most people tend to stay silent about what they are going through. 

The most common sign of domestic violence is if you or someone else fears the person that they are with, and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep your partner from getting mad. Most researchers and studies suggest that someone who is in the relationship should speak out or seek help to leave that person in a safe way instead of just suffering in silence.

As a person with my own experience of growing up witnessing abuse in my family, it was a tough situation to go through. It definitely made an impact on the kind of person I grew up to be. One thing I learned though was never to let the anger from the situation change who I was. I had to keep a positive mindset for myself.

Because I didn’t know what to do in those situations, I would talk to my friends about it or just try to tune it out. I would never want to speak out due to fear of the consequences. Now looking back on it, I don’t think that was an excuse that I should have used to make myself feel better for not speaking up because I could’ve been the one to change things. I still have to go through life trying not to blame myself for not speaking up. 

One lesson I learned from growing up around domestic violence was the fact that you can’t let yourself settle for someone who treats you negatively. I took this as a lesson to never let myself go through the same thing as what I watched growing up. 

It really is a hard thing to deal with on your own. Talking to people made me feel better and knowing that I was not alone in this situation. Also, knowing that other people go through the same thing as I went through was comforting.  

This was all happening to me in my high school years. It was a confusing time for me because I was trying to find out what kind of person I was. I could relate to anyone going through this at the time, feeling like something wasn’t right with their family and thinking no one else lived this life. The feeling that you get when going home doesn’t even feel good anymore when every kid is ready to go home with their families, but you aren’t. 

The worst part is that at that age you don’t know if that’s a normal thing or not and you want to be like everyone else, normal. What I had to realize is that no one’s family is perfect and that none of what happened in the past was my fault. Once I realized this, it made life a little easier for me. I had to understand that I didn’t cause what was going on around me and that I could take myself out of the situation when I got out of high school.

That’s exactly what happened. I came to college and saw that I didn’t have to take what happened at home or in the past to this new chapter of my life. This doesn’t mean that you have to forget about the things that happened. It really just means to me that you can grow from it and try to forgive whatever situation you were in at that time. 

Don’t let domestic violence shape you into the person that is bitter or thinks that domestic violence is OK. We should try to be on the look out for someone who may be getting abused and try to give them help, and be there for them in the best way that you can. Even if it’s just a friend or even a family member in my case, try to give them your help and even seek help in someone else if it is that serious where authority does need to be involved. 

Coming from someone who has personally went through this awful time in my life, I didn’t let that situation determine where I was going in life and who I was going to be. I learned to put that experience behind me, forgive the abuser and heal from it.