Problems in 21st-century relationships


“I really just can’t believe he left me on read.” “She hasn’t talked to me in the past few days. She’s not into me anymore.” “If he is not going to answer my Snapchat then I guess I am going to have to get back on Tinder.”

These are all statements I have encountered because of the 21st-century dating trend, ghosting.

The term “ghosting” refers to when a person’s significant other or friend has taken themselves out of the picture for no reason. Ghosting may seem like an action that has recently boomed because of the impact of social media, but it has been around for some time.

I believe that people do this because they fear what could result if the relationship continues. They may be afraid of commitment, broken hearted by another person, approached as a flirt but not looking for a real relationship, or they may have found someone else.

I am definitely a victim of being ghosted by a guy that I thought was into me. I am pretty sure we have all been in a place where we like someone and think the connection is mutual, but then there is no text, call or notification back. Especially in the digital world we live in now, ghosting is such a big obstacle in relationships.

These days, we are attached to the phone, and we use this as an outlet to reach out to people, to find new people, to create lasting relationships and to set up plans. This works both ways, though, and when you realize that the other person is not communicating back, it usually hurts.

When there seems to be a lack of communication, your brain wanders in 100 different directions. Your brain creates excuses for their non-communication, and you most likely continue to reach out to them in hopes they will respond back.

Ghosting is not OK. If you create a relationship with someone or lead on someone, they deserve enough respect to know the truth. It is not that hard to tell someone how you really feel about them and what is going on in your brain.

Honesty is always the best policy, and if you simply are not feeling into someone, then you should just be honest with them.

Because I have been in a relationship for three years, I am not the most experienced with this dating trend. I know that with media outlets like Tinder, Bumble and Snapchat, it is so common these days. The most important thing is to stop searching for answers that you do not have.

That person you thought you knew may have changed, and it probably does not feel the best, but beating yourself up about questions you cannot answer will not help you feel better. They did something to you that sucks and something no one wants to go through, but there is always someone else out there that will pop up in your life or maybe in your notifications.

None of the excuses they give you will ever seem good enough. There is never a good reason to ghost someone, but if it does happen to you, learn something from it. Everyone is brought into your life for a specific purpose, so do something good for yourself.