Moving to a new city, country or continent is exciting and scary at the same time. However, if the final destination is the United States of America, the expectations and pressure for success are heightened.

Among Europeans, America is the land of freedom and opportunity, where money grows on trees. They use the latest versions of technology and have the best quality products with the widest range of choices. However, no one talks about the cultural differences, standards or how your mentality changes completely. 

Coming to the United States was a dream come true, and a goal that I have worked for my whole life. Starting a new, independent life in Louisiana was a huge shift from the shelter of home but I wanted to experience the American dream life. 

Winter and summer breaks are long-waited and frightening times for international students; at least they are for me. I have not seen my family in so long, how will they react? Have I changed? What can I talk about with my friends? Will they have prejudice against me? What has changed? 

The first challenge is the language. After three years, I can state that I not only live in an English-speaking atmosphere, but I also think and dream in English too. 

According to a Hungarian saying, “You speak in a different language, you write in a different language, but you dream in Hungarian, and you cry in Hungarian.” I want to challenge this statement. 

If you live in the United States, your brain starts to work in English and you start to use phrases differently. But from the moment you land in your homeland, you must switch back to your native language perfectly. If you make grammatical mistakes, they say that you want to show off; you want to show everyone that you live in the United States which would make you more special. 

But how can you feel welcome in your own country after this? 

Another big cultural difference is compliments and kindness with strangers. Compliments are part of American culture, which seems shallow for Europeans. If you mention how pretty someone’s dress is, Europeans tend to switch to a protective mode and act like you are trying to steal something that is theirs. 

The lack of trust in each other might come from the continent’s history and our ancestors. It is coded within us. 

Europeans tend to keep their distance. They prioritize privacy and like to protect their values. Many times, they avoid eye contact with strangers, pay attention to their behaviors, and would rather go to the other side of the street than have any kind of unwanted interaction. 

On the contrary, Southern hospitality is famous for kind words, small talk and genuine gestures. When walking downtown, you hear strangers saying “Good morning” and asking how you are doing. They start a small chat with you and whenever you mention that you are from Hungary, they surely know someone’s friend or spouse whose grandparents were Hungarians too. 

However, establishing a new life in America is a huge accomplishment, and no one prepares you for the prejudice you will get or how your view of the world and values will change. 

Whenever I go back home, my relationship with my family and friends is not the same. We become more distant every time since the topics that interest us are completely different. They receive different information from the media and their environment than I do, and we cannot relate to each other’s problems or opinions since we do not have experience with them.

Another obvious difference is the fashion. European fashion is classy and chic, while Americans tend to focus on comfort and functionality. For college, European students wear jeans and blazers while people in the United States appear in Crocs and pajamas. Therefore, I was not surprised when people gave me belittling looks when I went to the grocery store in leggings and a sports top.

These small moments and negative experiences make you want to come back to America, however, you are an outsider there too. 

The person you were before moving to the States is not there anymore. You moved away, established a new home, grew up and became independent in an open-minded and acceptable community. 

But your stay has a deadline which you are very well aware of.

In such a short amount of time, I became too American for Hungary and too European for America. I do not follow the rigorous rules of society when I am back at home, however, and I am too protective and conscious about myself and my actions in America.

So where is home? Where do I actually belong? Where can I completely be myself?