When Valentine’s Day comes around, people tend to put all of their focus toward others around them: their friends, their family and their partners. 

However, many people leave out a person who, arguably, should remain the top priority in their lives: themselves. 

People can be guilty of this, including me. It can be so hard in this day and age to focus on yourself when every holiday that comes knocking on the door is about spreading joy and gifts to others, especially Valentine’s Day. 

This is not necessarily the worst thing to do – it is important to treat your loved ones well and to show that you love them when the time comes around. But doing this sometimes causes us to forget about taking care of ourselves. 

In order to take care of others, you have to take care of yourself first. I know that when it comes to self-love in my own life, it can be hard. I am a perfectionist and sometimes find it difficult to see all of the good characteristics of mine when I am blinded by my own self-disappointments which allow my confidence and care for myself to lower. 

One act of self-love I have tried to incorporate into my life is the way I dress. It may seem like a very small act, but it does help when done on a daily basis. 

What I do is I dress myself based on how I am feeling. If I am not feeling my prettiest or most attractive, I will take the time to put on an outfit I know I will look good in and make me feel better about my appearance.

I remember doing this on Valentine’s two years ago after I got out of my first long-term relationship. Instead of sulking about how I was alone that day, I wanted to remind myself that I was a beautiful woman and that I had worth, so I did a fun makeup look that was Valentine’s inspired with pink, red and white. 

Other times if I am having a harder day mentally I will wear an outfit that will ensure comfort, so that I can feel at ease all day. 

My point is that self-love does not have to consist of big gestures towards oneself. They can be little acts like buying yourself your favorite coffee or listening to the song you have been obsessed with for the past three days on repeat with no shame. 

Self-love for me is at its best when you are doing what makes you happy and when you  surround yourself with good people who continue to help you feel better. 

This Valentine’s Day, I ask that everyone reading this do one – big or small – act of self-love toward themselves before celebrating the day with other people. 

My consensus: Don’t throw Valentine’s Day out the window as a holiday. Let it be a day to celebrate who you are and treat yourself well.