Girls and guys can be just friends

Chloe+Williams

Chloe Williams

When it comes to platonic relationships between girls and guys, many people have varying opinions. 

Some believe that at least one person is attracted to the other, or that most guys are only friends with girls to have a “backup” for when things do not go their way with romantic pursuits. There even comes the obstacle of whether girls and guys should have friendships with the opposite gender when they are in a relationship. 

One of the thoughts that first comes to mind with this topic is that of course there is an attraction between two friends. 

I think all of my friends and people I choose to spend time with are attractive and have beauty surrounding them – both men and women. However, am I attracted to them romantically?

No, obviously not. I think that it is perfectly fine to say that your friend of the opposite gender is a good-looking person because that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to date them. 

Although, even if you initially were attracted to them, there is nothing wrong with changing your mind and realizing that you two will work better as friends rather than a couple. There have been many of my guy friends in the past who I felt an attraction to briefly when meeting before my views on them changed. 

I also believe it is a very old school type of belief to think that men and women have to have another intent in mind rather than just being friends. 

Of course, there are the “nice guys” in the world who believe that because they are nice to a girl they like and befriend her,  they deserve a date or some type of romantic interest in return. Not all men are like that though and it honestly can be pretty easy to tell the signs of someone with other intentions. 

According to Bustle Magazine’s article “5 Signs of Nice Guy Syndrome,” women can look for signs to ensure these types of men do not enter their lives. 

One sign is that if a guy has to push or put it into your head that he is a “nice guy,” he probably is not. You should not have to keep saying you are a good guy – if you are one, you would not have to say anything to make people believe that. 

At any rate, it is perfectly reasonable to believe that men and women can be just friends. When it comes to dating, however, this situation can get slightly trickier. 

Personally, I am perfectly fine with my boyfriend having friends that are girls. What I would not be OK with are boundaries being pushed.

What I mean by boundaries is that I think girls can, unfortunately, also have different intentions sometimes when they are “friends” with a guy. 

For example, if another girl who my boyfriend considers a friend is constantly texting him about her issues, asking him to come over repeatedly and spend the night or asking to consistently go out with him, I would consider that behavior to be crossing a boundary. She is treating him as her boyfriend when he already has a commitment to someone else. 

Once again, a way to avoid this is to be wary of the signs of people being overly attached to your significant other.

All in all, women and men can be friends, plain and simple. Sadly, there are just people out there who want to see the simplicity of friendship between two people ruined.