It is the worst time of year again: it’s Valentine’s Day. 

Valentine’s Day is popularly known as an adorable holiday because of the candy and the love in the air. Well, the love in the air is humid and gross, and the couples need to get a room. 

Valentine’s Day originally celebrated murder. That’s right. The holiday was originally intended to celebrate St. Valentine’s death. He illegally performed marriages in secret around the time when men were supposed to be soldiers as opposed to husbands, so he was killed for his crimes. How romantic. 

Valentine’s Day is a giant scam. It is just some made-up, lame holiday to make people buy cards and gifts to express their love. I would much rather just spend time with my significant other than get a bunch of “I Love You” cards. 

Valentine’s Day also puts a bunch of pressure on a person. Lovers should not be expected to buy gifts to prove their love to one another because if one does not get the other gifts, that runs the risk of somebody getting mad. 

I have never gotten flowers, and they are very pretty, but that is also a strange expected tradition during this time. Flowers die. Get her a weighted hula hoop instead, dude. 

Valentine’s Day is super depressing for single people. If you do not spend Valentine’s Day with someone, you are considered a loser and obviously, something must be wrong with you.

Throughout all of February, there are constant public displays of affection, and every store is covered in hearts and the color red. The only important place filled with red should be Target, thank you. 

Plus, candy is super cheap around this time. How am I supposed to stick to my diet when low prices are calling my name? 

I hate Valentine’s Day.

If you are going to be in love, celebrate it every day—not just Feb. 14. If you are going to love someone, love them with the same intensity all the time. If you want to take your girlfriend or boyfriend out for a spontaneous date, do it. You should not wait for a specific day. 

The holiday is corny, overrated and unnecessary.

Or maybe I am just bitter. 

No wait, I’m not. I am just practical. 

If you want to impress me, enlighten me with your ability to save money and prove you are prepared for adulthood.