“We’re all addicted to something that takes the pain away.”

-Belle Aurora, “Raw”

When you are a child, your school often bombards you with anti-drug campaigns using scare tactics, guest lectures, catchy slogans, etc. Yet, even though we are made well aware of the negative effects of drug use, so many people choose to partake in this taboo. Have you ever wondered why that is?

I was raised in a heavily drug-influenced environment. I first smoked pot when I was about 10 years old. A couple of years later, child services took us from my parents’ custody, and I soon realized that I was being childish and decided it was not for me.

I wish I could say the same for my siblings. My older brother has an affinity for pills, and my older sister does pretty much everything, though her poison of choice is meth. With the abuse, neglect, poverty, constant shouting and manipulation, I never questioned their need for an escape. Then last year, my younger brother was expelled for having marijuana on campus. No one in my family has had an easy life, but my four younger siblings were fortunately too young to remember much of life before we started living with my grandmother. Because of this, I found it hard to understand why my younger brother would choose to do drugs. Was it to fit in? Does he think it is fun?

My brother and I are avid fans of Hopsin, and he especially relates to songs such as “Ill Mind of Hopsin 5” and “Ill Mind of Hopsin 6.” My brother used to talk to me about his disdain for the kind of people described in Hopsin’s music. Yet, he chose to become like those people he once pitied. Even though he was well aware of the negative effects of drug use, why did he choose to partake in this taboo?

I think we are all trying to escape something, escape our pasts, our lives, ourselves. Life is hard, but you don’t get to just check out. I understand the desire to turn off reality. I also understand that there are healthier ways to distract yourself. What I don’t understand is why the people I love choose to throw away a potentially long and blissful future for a temporary moment of relief.

People often tell me that I am too logical to understand the plights of most people. I disagree. Logic does not grant me immunity to overwhelming emotions. When I have a bad day, I will smoke a cigarette or two because in my opinion, smoking is the most socially acceptable form of suicide. You see, I may view things differently than most, but I struggle with a need to escape just like anyone else.

I wish I knew a solution to this problem, especially with the opioid epidemic, but unfortunately, I just cannot understand the allure of drugs. However, I would really like to.

If you have an experience similar to mine or if you have experience with drugs, please reach out to me via a letter to the editor. I would love to hear your opinion. Perhaps if we talk about it enough, we may find a solution.